January 28, 2004 Part One Greetings from Florida! The Councilman has indeed fled from the cold and bitter North, though sadly it does carry him farther away from his Gentleman Partner. Nevertheless, the Councilman steadfastly holds to the belief that the ancestors of all Northern peoples committed a grave error by settling in the cold. Debate as the reader sees fit. The Councilman's days - for now at least - overflow with pleasure-giving leisure activities. Sunshine strolls may occur at any point in the day, as suits the mood - cocktail of course not required, but friends, as always, are welcome. The peaceful rituals of tea-taking, and watching birds do stuff. And most important of all, the tending of The Councilman's Garden. While many would be content with a few paltry herbs and flowers, the Councilman's garden is a delicious factory of useful, edible produce. Tomatoes, peppers, berries, cucumbers, and salad grow at terrific speeds. And if one stays out there long enough, watching them closely, the patient man can actually witness this growth. Many a morning, with slightly pounding head, has the Councilman woken up, covered in the bedsoil of his precious plants. The Councilman makes a note not to water these young plants with alcohol, but with water. The end result however is not simply the consumption of these tasty fruits and vegetables, but something far bolder. The Councilman has been experimenting night and day - off and on and here and there - and is nearing the culmination of a task never before completed by Man. The Councilman has been spotted by various over-inquisitive neighbors attempting the distillation of spirits from non-traditional sources; namely, the Tomato. Too long has the grape dominated the field, with its "wine"! Too long has grain held Mankind in a glorious stupor! The Tomato shall bridge the gap between grain and grape! Because, though technically it is a fruit, it is also very vegetabley. Chosen primarily for its ability to be grown year round in the southern stretches of the state, and thus to be distilled each and every day of the year, the Tomato shall create an exciting new method of intoxification! But do not rejoice just yet, friend. The task draws close to completion; the Councilman, tipsy just thinking about it. 'Lord, please grant the Councilman success in this venture, for though the people do not seem to tire of their traditional intoxificators, and I shall come to their aid regardless.' Till then... I must attend to the crop. -The Councilman February 10,2004 Part Two Though comfortably sitting in my twelve foot inflatable boat - the "Fish Hunter" model, colored camouflage green [so as the Fishes may not see me coming], equipped with electric motor [so as the Fishes may not hear me coming], my Daisy Powerline 880 rifle with 20x scope resting on my lap [so as the Fishes may meet their End gloriously - those that swim too close to the surface that is, because BB's don't penetrate water that far, and will just bounce off the fishes, or worse yet, just fall slowly past them like pebbles do. That is no bug, Fish! It is a tiny copper ball meant to kill you fer eatin']...Cocktail in hand, I long for Music-Making with my Gentleman Partner. The Councilman misses his sacred duty to entertain the people once again. How they must hunger in our absence! A curse upon the Cold! But wait! From this flurry of angerthoughts a most splendid idea has sprung from the Councilman's whiskey-soaked brain. Why not entreat my Northern friend to journey southward and join forces underneath the Palms... Does he not deserve to experience the splendor of warmth and sun which is the Floridian Leisure Dweller's daily existence? HE DOES INDEED! -The Councilman Return to Menu
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